Thursday, April 26, 2012

Finals

As much of a headache as finals can be, they still intrigue me. For me, finals represent a challenge- a game to be played and won. How far can I push the boundaries of my memory? This is always the great task at hand come every December and May, and I welcome it. However, it also poses a deeper issue that concerns me with education (my own and education as a whole).

Take note that I said, "How far can I push the boundaries of my memory?" Not, how much useful knowledge can I retain and actually apply to something meaningful. Memorizing. Anyone can do that. Some better than others. But with enough practice and hard work, more or less, I suspect that most people could score extremely well on exams that involved memorization and very little synthesis of ideas applied to real-world scenarios. To me, the latter is true education. The latter is exponentially more difficult and time consuming to accomplish, yet, it is infinitely more valuable.

I may be a hypocrite in saying all of this, because there are certainly courses in which I seek only to memorize facts and processes in order to regurgitate (almost in a robotic manner) them on an exam to successfully "play the game" and get the points. But, maybe I am not a hypocrite. Because there are, more times than not, courses in which I seek to apply concepts and skills to scenarios that are relevant.

Maybe I'm starting to figure out what college is all about. To me, college seems to be about finding those courses and fields of study in which one grows to care more about the quality of  learning and less about the ultimate grade earned. Fortunately, in my experience anyway, quality learning, effort, and good grades coincide quite frequently. Yet, at the end of the day, am I more concerned about what I have learned and how I have applied it or made it meaningful in some way, or am I more concerned about repeating facts on a paper and which might as well be an abyss of thoughtlessness never to be retrieved again. What is my intrinsic motivation to study? It used to be to earn the grade. But lately I have been dissatisfied with that- I am learning to appreciate knowledge and that is what excites me more than accolades from a high GPA. It is this intrinsic motivation that is starting to drive me, and I suspect that it will be a fire with an endless hunger for fuel and oxygen.

I will admit, as I said earlier, I participate in both memorizing and learning. The opportunity cost of my time is a very real thing, as it is with most everyone, and I can't afford to be so idealistic that I forget to have fun and not waste ridiculous amounts of time on courses about which I have no passion. I will stick to memorizing and getting the grade in these cases (like statistics and accounting to name a few). But I appreciate these courses like I appreciate cold weather. I hate them because I love their antitheses, and experiencing them makes their opposites (courses I actually do enjoy, or "warm weather" if I am going to continue with this stupid metaphor...) all the more enjoyable.

To sum up, and to be completely honest, I have been more concerned with memorizing and "getting good grades" for most of my life, but recent courses and finals this semester have helped me take a step back and realize that memorizing is a baby step on the long path to a legitimate education. Grades are certainly not meaningless, but they are not paramount. Clarity of thought and the ability to analyze and synthesize are what challenge and intrigue me the most; and I am forever grateful for the professors in my life who have pushed me to do this.

These are the true educators.

And they all have one thing in common:

They are all still students. Always pursuing new challenges and avenues of thought.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

John Houser
Martin McRory
Jeff Sprinkle
Jonathon Weinberg
Steven Kreft
John Maxwell

And to my favorite, and most influential teachers of all:

My parents, Don and Nancy Williams

You have all influenced me in taking the road less-traveled in my rigorous pursuit of true knowledge. 




Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Freedom of Thought; A New Beginning



It has been quite some time since I have written down my thoughts in any sort of extended context, and I couldn’t really say for certain why that is. It has been haunting me the past few nights, the fact that I have not been writing for so long. In fact, it has been years since I have written for leisure. Other than mandatory essays for coursework, I have mainly kept my thoughts silent and stowed away like my grandfather’s old jazz guitar. Collecting dust and aging; having the potential to create a new sound, but choosing to stay silent hanging on the wall- hoping, praying that someone will bump into it- if only to hit the wall with enough force to cause a few seconds of resonation as the strings vibrate ever so slightly against the neck.
Having the potential to create and articulate thoughts but choosing to stay silent haunts me. It haunts me for a few reasons- the most important reason being that I have a voice that I take for granted. Pondering that for a second, I have a voice. I am permitted, encouraged even, to think. To feel. To express. And this is not something to be taken for granted or squandered. I am not starting this blog because I feel that my words are profound or will touch anyone in any way. I do not seek any sort of accolades nor do I expect them. The reason for the publication of selected pages of my journal is to simply spark good conversation and provoke healthy and thoughtful debate among close friends. If the words of this journal somehow do affect or move anyone in some way, then so be it. But do not take this the wrong way when I say that it is all the same to me if my words do not move anyone at all. Many may even find me to be a babbling, pedantic fool, and that opinion may be warranted in some contexts.
To clarify, it is not that I do not hold the opinions of others in high regard, because nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, in this context, I seek only honesty of thought- my own thought and the thoughts of others. From that, if others' thoughts are provoked or challenged, or if they happen to agree or disagree, it is all the same to me. As long as an environment of uninhibited, unabashed thought prevails, whether or not we agree or disagree on any topic is of little consequence to me. The environment of clear thinking is what I seek.
  I am perfectly satisfied simply with the existence of this journal because the purpose of it is primarily to remind myself that I have a voice. Even if no one reads it. Even if no one chooses to listen to it. Even if no one finds its words worth any value, I still have the responsibility to use it. Expression of thought is a blessing that many have never experienced. Many oppressed around the world will never feel the liberation of freedom of thought, and I lie sleepless at night sometimes pondering why I have squandered my freedom of thought and expression for so long. I question why I have hung on the wall collecting dust, like my grandfather's jazz guitar, waiting for those rare moments when someone would bump me hard enough to help me work up the courage or ire to resonate a few seconds of sound. I am done collecting dust, and I am ready to create. Some may like it, all may hate it. But to me, it exists with each press of the keyboard. And that is enough. I hope that you will join me with your voices. Your creations.