Edinburgh Part 2

If your attention span is as short as mine, you understand why I am breaking up my Scotland entries into pieces. I do not think for a moment that anyone will last much more than a thousand words reading a blog, nor will I last much longer in writing a piece that is not required by a professor. So, if you were wondering why I did not lump all of my Scotland writings together, that is the reason.

In my last post I reflected a bit on the lessons I learned from the interactions I had with people on the trip- and I believe I am just beginning to scratch the surface of the lessons I learned from that portion of the trip. Aside from getting to meet and interact with some fantastic people (both American and Scottish), and learning lessons in that regard, I was also completely rejuvenated by the physical environment of Scotland and Northern England.

Without going into too much detail (because you can see the pictures and judge for yourself), there is something almost sacred about the landscape of Scotland. I remember joking with my parents on the plane from Detroit to Fort Wayne (they were returning from Prague and we happened to have the same flight which was pretty cool), that the boutique clothing store next to my hotel was nearly 100 years older than the signing of the Constitution- and after visiting some of the local castles, it became quite clear that the history in this land significantly dwarfed most of the history in the States (unfortunately, we seemed to have ruined and destroyed most of it with our Manifest Destiny charade…but I digress.)

It was the sheer magnitude of this history that quite effectively “put me in my place” so to speak. The history humbled me for many reasons but I will narrow my thoughts down to the two most significant:

1.     My time on earth is a little teaspoon of water drawn out of the massive ocean of the entirety of time.

2.     Closely related to point one- how do I make the small time I have here significant or of any lasting and sustainable value to anyone or anything?

It is interesting and somewhat daunting to think about just how short an average lifespan is when compared to the history of the world. And I have never felt this sensation stronger than when I visited some of these castles that have been around for over 1000 years- and I would suspect that a trip to Israel or anywhere in the Middle East would produce an even stronger sensation of the massive nature of time.

But then I got to thinking; these castles and monuments have the power to make me feel extremely insignificant- but in all of their magnitude, they are still finite and were still created at some point. And it was this idea that really propelled me into thinking about one of the many attributes that make God completely outside anything I can really comprehend. The true essence of God, I suspect, is being “otherly”.

What I mean by this is simple- even the most daunting pieces of history that spark amazing feelings of human accomplishment and historical value still exist inside of the constraints of time. God is independent of this- the one thing in our lives that truly governs our existence- because, without being too ominous, we are all going to feel the mortal effects of time at some point or another. And this is one attribute, above others that God possesses, that amazes me and drives my adoration and worship above any other.

I have always been extremely fascinated and completely overwhelmed by God’s timelessness. I can vividly remember lying in my bed late at night and crying to my dad because I was afraid of eternity- it was an idea that absolutely frightened me because it was so foreign.

As I have grown in my understanding of how the world works (or at least my perception of such), I have grown beyond the fear of time and eternity and attempted to use its existence as a catalyst to propel me into my second point- How do I make my time on Earth worthwhile, meaningful, filled with purpose?

I know that I am one of millions who have dared to ponder this question rather than simply going through life blindly, and I presume that I will be answering those questions little by little until I run out of time. However, the answer I have come to thus far, if I could sum up my “legacy” is to be a person that is focused on loving and serving others.

Very similar to my last post is this message- however, I think many things on this trip showed me that if I care about leaving a legacy at all, I want it to be one that is sustainable. And in my mind, no legacy is sustainable without investing time and resources into other people. But for what purpose? To make a name for myself. To have people talk nice of me and build buildings or write articles or give people scholarships in my name? No- those motivations are just as fleeting and superficial as a life lived for self. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I would hope that I continue to grow into a man that appreciates others for the intrinsic value they possess. Though I fail at this many times, I hope that as I grow and learn, I will begin to see more and more opportunities to help people. To leave a legacy that is sustainable for the sake of perpetuating this idea- if I can pass it on to others, maybe the extent of my influence can be exponential. That is what leaving a legacy means. And the motivation must be pure otherwise the whole idea is undermined and people continue to remain self-absorbed and skeptical of the motivations of others.

You may find this too idealistic once again, and it may be. But I do not think it to be beyond our capability as a human race. However, I do think that a general denial of self every day by the majority of people in the world is only possible through God- as we were born selfish beings and will continue to battle this instinct until we, in a very real sense, run out of our allotted time. I for one, hope to make my a bit more meaningful than simply focusing on myself. 

Edinburgh to Glasgow and Everywhere In Between

A week ago today I got on a plane headed for Amsterdam and ultimately, Edinburgh, Scotland for a last-minute trip with a family friend. I had hoped to write every day on the trip, but I found myself so caught up in actually "living" and taking in all of the sites, that I ran out of time and energy. However, I would be remiss if I did not recap the highlights so here we are. 

So first, here is a bit of background on the happenstance that enabled me to enjoy such a last-minute journey. 

A family friend who is the Dean of the business school at Trine University in Angola (who had planned a marketing consulting trip with a few students to advise a local entrepreneur on marketing strategies for entering the US with his product) had one student drop out last minute. He knew that I am interested in consulting as a career path, so he asked me to accompany the group last-minute. Ironically, I got the call about the trip as I was about 5 minutes away from making a different consulting presentation for a final at school- so when I got the call, I had about a week and a half to figure out how to get a passport in time to head off to Scotland.

After a quick weekend trip with my roommate and a long, ridiculous process with the passport expediting division in Chicago, the biggest obstacle (getting a passport renewed so quickly) was out of the way- 4 finals stood in the way of me and the coolest trip of my life to date. So, after a crazy finals week, very little sleep, and 12 hours in Ft. Wayne to pack, I was aboard a plane.

Now that I have given you some meaningless details that have made you either stop reading, fall asleep, or commit suicide, I will attempt to explain in a short amount of space just how meaningful this trip was to me. 

First and foremost, it was such an adventure to be inundated into a new culture so quickly. I had very little time to prepare mentally for this, so going with the flow was imperative. Lucky for me, as confusing as Scottish roads and landscape are, the people and scenery are both wonderful and beautiful. 

Never have I been so stressed out as Scott (the Dean) and I were nearly 2 hours late for the presentation because we had found a way to get lost in nearly every roundabout in Glasgow. However, if it were not for this, I would not have had to ask a kind Ford car dealer (I know, you were probably thinking he should be selling Land Rovers or BMW's...I was of the same sentiment) for directions, and in doing so, learned one of the most valuable lessons in my life to date. In asking this man, Stuart, for directions I began to realize just how friendly the locals were (and there were countless other examples of this as the trip went on). Not only did Stuart take a brand new car off the lot to escort us to our destination, he would absolutely not accept any payment for doing so, and simply said he was happy to help because Americans were hospitable to him when he came across the pond to our country. My initial thought was, he must not have been on the east coast for long, but my following reflections on this event helped me realize that this man's eagerness to help a fellow human in need was intriguing and challenging to me. In short, this was the first of many encounters with locals on this trip that impressed me a great deal and began to challenge the way that I deal with other people. 

Every day I come into contact with others and have three options.

1. Act in a way that makes their day better

2. Act in a way that makes their day worse

3. (And the outcome of this is closely related to number two)- Do Nothing at all

So, as I reflected on Stuart's reaction to my asking for directions, it became clear to me that helping someone in need was almost second nature to him- something that he did without question or reserve. And then I examined my own life and all of the times I have been approached for help/seen a circumstance in which I had the opportunity to better someone's life, and how many times I have failed to act in a way that added value. Why do I do this?

I'm sure I could list a litany of excuses as to why I don't help, and certainly there are many times in which I do help. However, I think the more profound lesson to be learned was the attitude in which he helped our convoy. 

This post may be a bit Kantian in nature, and there are certainly exceptions to what I am about to say, but I would suspect that most of the time, we do not help others for the right reasons. Think about this for a second- look at our culture. How many people give large sums of money anonymously? How many people are OK with extending a good amount of effort to help someone else without some sort of ROI- whether it be "points" for an organization, accolades from peers to recognize just how great of a fellow you are, or an expectation of a future favor in return, an IOU if you will. 

I can't think of many examples. And I know many would argue the Utilitarian side of the coin and state that these incentives set in place to encourage philanthropic behavior ultimately better off society, so why does it matter why people do it? Maybe it doesn't matter- all I know is that there is something to be said for the value of a "no strings attached" act of friendship that sparks a very real sense of humanity in me. 

Not to say that those who are helped should not reciprocate when possible. They should. However, if the motivation behind the "helping" is other's-centered, rather than self-centered, we may start to see even more acts of philanthropy throughout society and the world. 

Why? This is a valid question. And my limited conjecture would be simply this- if we as humans are generally willing to help others only when some sort of incentive is set in place to reward our behavior, chances are that we are less likely to act in situations in which there is no clear incentive to help. Maybe there is a rare occasion in which we are having a good day and we are simply obliged by some invisible sense of humanity to help out a fellow man, but I would suspect that more often than not, we do the right thing for the wrong reasons. If our only motivation for munificent behavior is to simply better the day of someone else, and if this was pervasive in society, we may see a chain reaction (albeit a slow one) of actions that construct rather than destroy. Of words that heal rather than harm. And of motivations that are pure, rather than perverted. 

Maybe I am being a bit idealistic here, but if I am going to have to get up and encounter people every day, I would prefer to leave someone's life a little better than the condition in which I found it. All to often, I have allow hinderances such as a busy life or a stressful day to impede my ability to see opportunities to lend a helping hand, but I hope after this trip, I view my life through a clearer lens of opportunity that allows me to reach out in friendship toward others rather than lash out in an inhumane manner that suggests that my fellow man's life is subordinate to my own. To do so is the very essence of selfishness and ultimately, death to one's soul. 

More thoughts/stories/lessons from Scotland to come...

Finals

As much of a headache as finals can be, they still intrigue me. For me, finals represent a challenge- a game to be played and won. How far can I push the boundaries of my memory? This is always the great task at hand come every December and May, and I welcome it. However, it also poses a deeper issue that concerns me with education (my own and education as a whole).

Take note that I said, "How far can I push the boundaries of my memory?" Not, how much useful knowledge can I retain and actually apply to something meaningful. Memorizing. Anyone can do that. Some better than others. But with enough practice and hard work, more or less, I suspect that most people could score extremely well on exams that involved memorization and very little synthesis of ideas applied to real-world scenarios. To me, the latter is true education. The latter is exponentially more difficult and time consuming to accomplish, yet, it is infinitely more valuable.

I may be a hypocrite in saying all of this, because there are certainly courses in which I seek only to memorize facts and processes in order to regurgitate (almost in a robotic manner) them on an exam to successfully "play the game" and get the points. But, maybe I am not a hypocrite. Because there are, more times than not, courses in which I seek to apply concepts and skills to scenarios that are relevant.

Maybe I'm starting to figure out what college is all about. To me, college seems to be about finding those courses and fields of study in which one grows to care more about the quality of  learning and less about the ultimate grade earned. Fortunately, in my experience anyway, quality learning, effort, and good grades coincide quite frequently. Yet, at the end of the day, am I more concerned about what I have learned and how I have applied it or made it meaningful in some way, or am I more concerned about repeating facts on a paper and which might as well be an abyss of thoughtlessness never to be retrieved again. What is my intrinsic motivation to study? It used to be to earn the grade. But lately I have been dissatisfied with that- I am learning to appreciate knowledge and that is what excites me more than accolades from a high GPA. It is this intrinsic motivation that is starting to drive me, and I suspect that it will be a fire with an endless hunger for fuel and oxygen.

I will admit, as I said earlier, I participate in both memorizing and learning. The opportunity cost of my time is a very real thing, as it is with most everyone, and I can't afford to be so idealistic that I forget to have fun and not waste ridiculous amounts of time on courses about which I have no passion. I will stick to memorizing and getting the grade in these cases (like statistics and accounting to name a few). But I appreciate these courses like I appreciate cold weather. I hate them because I love their antitheses, and experiencing them makes their opposites (courses I actually do enjoy, or "warm weather" if I am going to continue with this stupid metaphor...) all the more enjoyable.

To sum up, and to be completely honest, I have been more concerned with memorizing and "getting good grades" for most of my life, but recent courses and finals this semester have helped me take a step back and realize that memorizing is a baby step on the long path to a legitimate education. Grades are certainly not meaningless, but they are not paramount. Clarity of thought and the ability to analyze and synthesize are what challenge and intrigue me the most; and I am forever grateful for the professors in my life who have pushed me to do this.

These are the true educators.

And they all have one thing in common:

They are all still students. Always pursuing new challenges and avenues of thought.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

John Houser
Martin McRory
Jeff Sprinkle
Jonathon Weinberg
Steven Kreft
John Maxwell

And to my favorite, and most influential teachers of all:

My parents, Don and Nancy Williams

You have all influenced me in taking the road less-traveled in my rigorous pursuit of true knowledge. 

Freedom of Thought; A New Beginning

It has been quite some time since I have written down my thoughts in any sort of extended context, and I couldn’t really say for certain why that is. It has been haunting me the past few nights, the fact that I have not been writing for so long. In fact, it has been years since I have written for leisure. Other than mandatory essays for coursework, I have mainly kept my thoughts silent and stowed away like my grandfather’s old jazz guitar. Collecting dust and aging; having the potential to create a new sound, but choosing to stay silent hanging on the wall- hoping, praying that someone will bump into it- if only to hit the wall with enough force to cause a few seconds of resonation as the strings vibrate ever so slightly against the neck.

Having the potential to create and articulate thoughts but choosing to stay silent haunts me. It haunts me for a few reasons- the most important reason being that I have a voice that I take for granted. Pondering that for a second, I have a voice. I am permitted, encouraged even, to think. To feel. To express. And this is not something to be taken for granted or squandered. I am not starting this blog because I feel that my words are profound or will touch anyone in any way. I do not seek any sort of accolades nor do I expect them. The reason for the publication of selected pages of my journal is to simply spark good conversation and provoke healthy and thoughtful debate among close friends. If the words of this journal somehow do affect or move anyone in some way, then so be it. But do not take this the wrong way when I say that it is all the same to me if my words do not move anyone at all. Many may even find me to be a babbling, pedantic fool, and that opinion may be warranted in some contexts.

To clarify, it is not that I do not hold the opinions of others in high regard, because nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, in this context, I seek only honesty of thought- my own thought and the thoughts of others. From that, if others' thoughts are provoked or challenged, or if they happen to agree or disagree, it is all the same to me. As long as an environment of uninhibited, unabashed thought prevails, whether or not we agree or disagree on any topic is of little consequence to me. The environment of clear thinking is what I seek.
  I am perfectly satisfied simply with the existence of this journal because the purpose of it is primarily to remind myself that I have a voice. Even if no one reads it. Even if no one chooses to listen to it. Even if no one finds its words worth any value, I still have the responsibility to use it. Expression of thought is a blessing that many have never experienced. Many oppressed around the world will never feel the liberation of freedom of thought, and I lie sleepless at night sometimes pondering why I have squandered my freedom of thought and expression for so long. I question why I have hung on the wall collecting dust, like my grandfather's jazz guitar, waiting for those rare moments when someone would bump me hard enough to help me work up the courage or ire to resonate a few seconds of sound. I am done collecting dust, and I am ready to create. Some may like it, all may hate it. But to me, it exists with each press of the keyboard. And that is enough. I hope that you will join me with your voices. Your creations.